I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize