...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize