you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
