You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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