Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
