yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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