The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize