He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize