I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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