I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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