I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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