I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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