Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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