I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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