I feel great
I just peed on a car
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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