You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
