well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
