Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
