I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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