No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
that is very illegal...i love you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
