Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
where are you?
Hypothermia
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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