first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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