Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
