He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
