he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
4 words: hood of his car
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
do nipples grow back?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
