why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
this boner is exhausting
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I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
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We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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