just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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