I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
