My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
