dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
