I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
