I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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