One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
ttyl tear gas
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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