He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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