actually, I'm a sock model
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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