Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
