How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
