i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think your dad took our porno
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
