Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
