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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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