Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
