White coat. Heels.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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