I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
