Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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