sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
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