yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We left the knife in your bed.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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