those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
