He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
