he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
