There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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