That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
