what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
