Don't make out with my wife yet
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
