Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
