I threw up into my coffee this morning.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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