I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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