I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I touched a dick in church today
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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