seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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