I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
