Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
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