I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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