He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
false alarm, still single
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
