At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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