There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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