I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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